IMMEDIATE DOWNSIZING MEASURES EMPLOYED
The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen have elected to take the
early reindeer retirement package has triggered a good deal of concern about whether they will be replaced, and about other
restructuring
decisions at the North Pole.
Streamlining is due to the North Poles loss of dominance of this
seasons gift distribution business. Home shopping channels, the Internet, and mail order catalogs have diminished Santas
market share. He could not sit idly by and permit further erosion of the profit picture.
The reindeer downsizing
was made possible through the purchase of a late model Japanese sled for the CEOs annual trip. Improved productivity from
Dasher and Dancer--who will retrain at the Harvard Business
School--is anticipated. Reduction in reindeer will also
lessen airborne environmental emissions for which the North Pole has received unfavorable press.
I am pleased to
inform you that Rudolphs role will not be disturbed. Tradition still counts for something at the North Pole.