Things not to say on your Valentines date.

1. I really dont like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.

2. People say I remind them of Eddie Haskell.

3. I used to come here all the time with my ex.

4. I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldnt hurt to consider it.

5. Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesnt hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.

6. I like clay. Its mushy.

7. I really feel that Ive grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldnt have given someone like you a second look.

8. And I won that trophy in the inter-fraternity belching contest.

9. I know you said you dont eat anything with a face. But a good butcher will cut that part off for you if you ask.

10. Its been tough, but Ive come to accept that most people I date just wont be as smart as I am.